So, it amazes me that these idyllic, golden days should be colored by sadness everywhere I turn.
My mother is lying in her bed, hanging to her life by the the thinnest of all threads. She doesn't speak, she doesn't eat, she just looks straight ahead. Autumn is her favorite time of year. Today, I am going to open her window blinds in hopes she'll see the big yellow-leaved oak that is outside her window. It's very warm--she won't need to harbor her perpetual worry about getting a chill.
A few blocks away, a friend and her husband mourn the loss of their two beautiful daughters. They were taken from them Sunday night, during what should have been the most benign of all childhood pleasures: playing in front of their home in a pile of October leaves. The driver that accidentally killed them was another child. An 18-year old involved in her own right of passage. Driving over a huge pile of leaves stacked on the curb of the street.
She did nothing intentional, nothing illegal. Just a little Autumn fun. The way kids jump in puddles after the rain. How was she to know there were two little girls playing underneath?
Back home in California, my dear sister and her school are mourning the loss of one of their precious students. He took his own life this week. In the midst of a community of young people bubbling with excitement and fresh life, there is a deep sadness.
"Where is your God now?" they taunted Job.
"Why don't you just curse God and die?" his wife yelled at him.
I choose to answer as Job did: My God is in his heaven---even when all is not right with the world.
Our golden days of Autumn aren't a spark of the brilliance that waits in Eternity for those who have chosen to walk with Him.
I believe God laughs as he prepares to receive a tiny firecracker of a woman that He has waited many, many years for.
I believe He opens both of His arms wide as He sees two beautiful little princesses in pink, dancing into his presence. Twirling and jumping and they make their way towards His throne.
I believe His eyes are filled with sadness as the tired young boy approaches him. Yet, He smiles and reaches out to him. Here is one more whose thoughts will never again torture him as he moves through the door, to live forever in the Light.
We haven't seen, we haven't heard, we can't imagine.
As my heart, and the hearts of so many of my friends scream out in turmoil, He whispers to us in a voice that is almost inaudible:
In this World you shall have tribulation---but, be of good cheer, for I have overcome the World.
3 comments:
I love your heart Margot! Needed this reminder today, even as it made me cry <3
Awesome! This time of year has the best memories and rituals for me and has definitely been tainted with sadness this year, but your words ring true.
Oh Margot! How beautifully you express in words what most of us cannot. I wept as I read about your mom, the girls, and the tragedy that shook our community. To imagine all of them standing before the Lord is a great comfort. The parents of the boy told me yesterday after his memorial service they made an effort to present the hope of the Gospel and the comfort God brings in deep pain. Let us comfort one another with these words. Wait...you just did! You are gifted, beautiful, and loved.
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