Waiting for September

Last Spring, I had the privilege of helping establish a flower garden at church. I bought some of the flowers at a nursery, but most of them were cuttings and volunteers from my own yard.

A few years ago, I planted this totally innocuous-looking little bulb in my front garden. I didn't think much of it at the time, but when it bloomed,  I found it produced big wands of star-shaped flowers in the one of the prettiest shades of  coral that I had ever seen. Naturally I wanted to put these front and center in the planters at church.

During April, I put in bunch of bulbs under the apple tree in my back garden, and lots more at church, and I waited.

It wasn't long before the bulbs burst forth with healthy green sword-like leaves.

No flowers.

So, I waited.

I waited through May.

Then, I waited through June, July and August.

Every time I looked out under my apple tree and saw nothing but bare, green leaves, it bothered me.  Mostly because, I knew that's what was growing at church too.  Leaves.  No flowers.  Just, leaves. Front and center.

I started to doubt myself.  Weren't these the same bulbs that had provided the great show in my garden last year?  Had I gotten confused, and somehow transplanted the wrong ones?  Maybe they needed more water? Less water? Fertilizer?  I tried them all.

And I waited.

No flowers.

A dear friend of mine who is a therapist, once told me that the hardest thing in life is not going through trials.  The hardest thing in life, according to her, is waiting.

Waiting for things to get better.  Waiting for pain in your heart to ease away. Waiting for that job that is going to save your family. Waiting for a healing. Waiting to be married, waiting to be single, waiting to have children, waiting for them to grow up.

Waiting.

While I'm waiting, there are several things I like to indulge in to pass the time.  Doubting, fearing, double-checking and taking things back are a few of my favorites. Of course, none of these seem to do me any good.  But, they tend to support one of my other favorite fallacies: believing that I am in control of  situations in my life.  If I just retrace my steps;  just re-check my actions; just adjust things a little here and a little there....

But, the truth is, these things don't help if you are not in control. If you are not in control of something, there is only one thing you can do:  lean on the One who is.

I had a business trip in the very end of August, and didn't come home till early September.  One day, I was looking out my back window, under the apple tree, when I saw the most amazing sight:

What I had forgotten, is that they are fall bulbs.  They are not supposed to bloom until September.  No amount of pleading, cajoling, feeding, watering or adjusting was going to change that.

The only thing that was going to make those bulbs bloom, was the One in control. And the only thing I really had to wait on, was Him.