Making Sandwiches

Yesterday, while I was out, I got a message on my phone from my mom's nurse.  She wanted to know why the pharmacy has sent over some calcium supplements to the retirement home where she lives. "I couldn't figure it out!" she said. "I knew you would've called me right away and told me if the doctor had prescribed anything new. Now, I am waiting for your ok to give them to her."

She doesn't know that she is two calls, and a letter down my list.

The doctor called me a few days ago to tell me about the tablets, but I need to talk with my mom's caregiver who goes with her to the appts. to find out if there's other information I need to know about the visit.  I need to do that before I call my mom and then the nurse. You see, the doctor also told me about another appointment she needs to make.  So first,  I'd like to call the healthcare appointment setter, so she can arrange for the the caregiver for that second appointment.  Then, I need to write my mom a letter about the second appointment, (because she can't remember unless it's down in writing.)  Then, I need to call my uncle and make arrangements to pick up my mother and the caregiver to take them to that second appointment. (The retirement home has vans to take her, but my mother won't let anyone drive her except my uncle.) For those of you who are still with me, that's: call the caregiver, call the appt. setter, call my uncle, call my mom, write the letter to my mom, and THEN call the nurse.

That will take care of the sodium tablets and setting the next appointment.

At which point, the cycle begins again.

Of course, the reason I didn't call the caregiver back after the first appointment, was that the Daughter needed to be taken to the train station to go back to her apt.  She's doing that for a week and then coming back home again.  Today, when I started out to call the caregiver, the Daughter called to ask for prayer, so of course we spent a little time on the phone. Then, a good friend called--which I was thrilled about, because (as many of you know,) I am the worst person about returning personal phone calls, and she had already called a few days ago, and I wasn't free to talk. So, of course we spent a little time catching up. Now, the Son is just back at school from a trip, so I owe him a call to see how things went, because I've been praying for him all week that things would go smoothly. I've owed him a call for two days, I hope he doesn't think I've forgotten about him.

I woke up feeling sick this morning, so I had to cancel the two work assignments I had.  It's just as well, because we have no cars right now, except the one we are borrowing from our daughter and it's making it hard for both of us to get to work in different directions. If I feel well enough, I'll have time to make my Mom-related phone calls and maybe even spend a little time online to shop for another supplemental insurance for her. (The one she has is costing too much.)

But, before I do that, I'd better check my e-mail and see if I've heard from the realtor.  We sold two of my mom's houses last week and hope to put an offer on a fourplex close to where we live, so we can start managing it, instead of hiring a mgt. company. We're trying to get the realtor to come over tomorrow--although that is the usual evening the Husband and I have marked out to spend time together. Of course, the realtor wanted to write up the offer last week, but we were busy with the Husband who spent three days in urgent medical appointments--a lot of that time, which he spent sleeping through because they doused him with too much medicine. At the same time, I was on the phone trying to clear a huge snafu with Social Security about payment and care for my OTHER uncle, who is incapacitated and in a nursing home.

I'm his legal-medical representative as well.

Well, at least it wasn't the same day we were supposed to take the daughter to the train. 

Why am I writing all this? Do I want you to sympathize with me? Do I love seeing my days in print? Am I just writing things down so I can remember what to do next?  No.  (Although the last one is tempting.)

I'm writing because I want to acknowledge that my days are no less busy than yours. Most of you are caring for a parent right now, have done it in the past, or are about to. Most of you also have children you are raising, (or, at a minimum, still trying to show an interest in!)  We are the Sandwich Generation.  People with time for everyone for ourselves.  I hope you can take a moment to stop and see yourself here, and give yourself a little pat on the back.  You are doing the job of two, maybe three people, and you need to be commended.

My sandwich got so big that I actually had to trade in my regular part-time job for a freelance part-time job, so I could work around the needs of my mother and my uncle. I am well aware that many of you are doing all this, while still trying to hold down full-time jobs.

All I can say is: God bless you.

God bless all of us.