On Halloween

Holidays keep changing over here.

Bosco is away at college and Delicate Flower came home yesterday on a quick sweep through on her way to a friend's party.

Now, I realize that those of you struggling through Halloween with small children, read this with a sigh, and more than a touch of envy. But I'll let you in on a secret: growing up is not all it's cracked up to be for a parent.

I have vivid memories of the frenzied excitement before the big day. Back when there were still school Halloween parades. Memories of princes and princesses and gypsies and indian girls and racoons. (For DF the costumes always included plenty of sparkles and for Bosco they always managed to have something to do with fur.)

It was all about last-minute attempts at sewing hems, (I later resorted to taping and stapling,) and endless fittings to make sure things were "just right." I remember arguments with TH about who was going to walk the kids around the neighborhood with my girlfriends and who was going to hand out candy. (I wanted to do both--he'd prefer neither.) There was Jack-o-lantern pulp all over the kitchen table, with endless newspapers that never seemed to catch the whole explosion.

One year, my girlfriend actually attempted to throw a quick party of sorts before the kids went out walking. Okay, it was a poorly disguised photo op. for the moms, but the kids had a blast and were none the wiser.

It all goes by in the blink of an eye, people. The ceremonial Sorting of the Candy after the Big Night---which in my house could take days. Deciding what to eat, what to save and what to trade. Wearing the Halloween costumes for months as they made their way in and out of the dress-up box. All the time announcing plans for what you were going to be "next year."

The years change and so do the plans. Okay, my daughter DID still dress up at last night's college party and my son called me from a party on-campus, but it's not quite the same.

Tonight, I imagine TH and I will take turns opening the door and holding back Rosco the Wonder Dog when the little people come to the door. We'll ooh and ahh over the little princesses and fairies that come early and groan at our students that usually trail by somewhere around nine with ratty pajamas and painted faces. ("Hey, Mr. X! I didn't know you lived here!)

In the end, I think the real magic of Halloween is in the kind of holiday it is. I mean, come on, a kid walks up to a random door, knocks, and is automatically given candy? Truly, does a child's life ever get any better than this?

So, for those of you still lucky enough to have little monsters going out tonight, let me just say ENJOY. Trust me, life won't end if they eat that extra piece of candy, or stay up that extra half-hour, (yes, even on a--gasp!--school night.) All will survive if they are asking you for those giant rites of passage: going out with "just their friends," or going to their first real party. The world will still be turning on November first, as it has for so many other parents before you.

And one last bit of advice---don't buy that cheap hard candy no matter HOW broke you are. Spring for the real chocolate or don't give any out at all.

After all, there are a few things that never change.